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trixerelixer
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Name: Trix
Location: Naples, Italy
Birthday: 6/9/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: Jesus. plaid. thunderstorms. vanilla mint chapstick. traveling. driving. SURFING. kissing - its a great past time. sweat pants. outdoors. confusing boys. Soccer...played 2 years in college... hunting. art...
Traduzione: del Jesus. plaid. Azionamento mobile della menta chapstick. della vaniglia di thunderstorms. Baciare SURFING. - relativo un tempo passato grande ha sudato i pantaloni all'aperto che confondono i ragazzi. Il played di calcio... 2 anni in università... allora ha saltato verso l'esterno il mio twice-yeah del ginocchio, io sono un'un'arte cercante astuta...
Expertise: being barfoot. swimming. confusing people. pretending. living a relatively sane life amongst a dysfunctional family. surviving the communist nazi parental unit. being pulled over without (praise the Lord) getting tickets. beach bumming it...
Traduzione: essendo gente confusionaria di nuoto di barfoot. che finge vivere una vita relativamente sensata fra una famiglia disfunzionale che sopravvive l'unità parentale nazista comunista che è tirata sopra senza (elogii il signore) ottenere i biglietti tiri bumming in secco esso...
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
1/11/2005
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| today was one of the least favorite days of my life...i have to say of the
8789
days i've lived so far today ranks about10th on the list of
terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-wanna-disappear-and-become-a-hermit-days.
i'm so frustrated with having to work with idiots...i'm tired of only
certain people having to follow rules...i'm tired of being stuck in the
middle...i'm sick of being nice...of keeping my mouth shut...of being
in the back. i want to have sex, and i still have 4 months till that
can happen...four months exactly from this day. i want friends within
proximity of where i live. i want to not spend so much money on stupid
crap. i want all this wedding stuff planned out and finished. i want
to have one day, one complete whole day that i don't have to do
ANYTHING. i want to not be responsible for stupid coworkers. i
wanted to be selfish just for a little bit. i want a better spiritual
life. i want to travel like all my friends are getting to do. i want
to start moving stuff into our new place. i want to clean out my
closet. i want to write again. i want to draw again. i want to feel ahhhhh...
one of my least favorite days and i didn't even get one cuddle at all today..
since when do i crave cuddle's apparently i've become one of those
people, and i really needed it today. not to fix things, but just to
know...
least favorite day of 8789...
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| she can see them fading, and for some reason, on some
level, that bothers her. it's been forever since anything had been
added. it's as if her life halted...this was her history, her map of
all that she'd been through. remembering when nothing else could have
been imagined. it's crazy how much had changed. has she lost a part
of herself? her history is slowly disappearing again, except this time
it's not by her own conscience. it's an odd sensation, the losing of
self. the spiral into the unknown, the struggle to stay above, to
co-exist, to fight--without actually fighting. how do they do this on
a regular basis, when did she start doing this on a regular occasion?
what happened to the things that really worked? what happened to the
map? she's safe and lost all at the same time and that frightens her
just a bit. just enough to keep her on edge, to keep her wondering.
she glances at the fading maps and wonders if there is any
conservation... | | |
| well i've officially become the person i swore i'd never be. i'm
working a job that's a complete mind numbing waste of time. i spent
over 50% of my day indoor and i couldn't be more miserable. i need to
breathe...i need to breathe, green and blue air. i need to sit in a car
with my best friends talking until all hours of the night until the
police come and question our reasons for sitting in a car and
jabbering. i need to sing karaoke at the top of our lungs not caring
whether the neighbors can hear. i need to turn on the dryer to drown
out the tall whining dog. i need to drive up and down 19 blaring music
and/or belting out tunes until my head is clear. i need to take road
trips to the beach to open up my lungs and fill them with oxygen and my
pores with saltwater. i need to know that people share my thoughts and
that i'm not crazy. i need to be able to write again. i wish i could
quite "paying my dues" and get into a job i really want. i want to go
back to school. i want to drive 15 minutes to see my best friends
instead of 8 frickin hours--or 40072thousand. i want to say "true that"
and have my girls quickly follow up with "chew it up!". i want
reassurance of who i am. i want to stay up chatting for hours with
sisters that aren't really your sister...and those that are. i want to
get beat with a belt when i'm exhausted but my friends are hyped up and
goofy. i want people to understand where i'm coming from. i want to be
good again. i want things to lack complication to a certain extent. i
want to share all these things inside me with the two girls that know
me the most...i want advice from them too. i want to hang out with
college roomies and goof off and shower wrestle. i want to have those
conversations where we find out that we each experienced something out
of another's life. i want to stop putting on this mask. i want to be
able to feel whatever, whenever. i want my friends. and i want to
breathe without choking on fear of conformity, inadequacy, and
normalcy...
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| if it's been a day it's been ten years. i feel as if i haven't written anything in years, which for those that know me is almost as if i haven't lived for years either. so much has been going on lately and my life is this chaotic roller coaster that blinds you before you enter the ride so that you are not allowed to see what is coming up next. it's crazy. let's see...there's a lot i need to write, but that will be a new entry all it's own. let me write this out about the terror/chaos going down in The 'Ville right now...over the Thanksgiving holiday my dearest sister discovered that her husband was and had been cheating on her for quite awhile. pain, anger, hurt, agony; just to name a few of the emotions felt by all of us. now jj had been dealing with some depression, and my sister had been doing everything in her power to help him, to guide him, to love him...and then discovered that none of that mattered because he was having casual sex with strangers via the internet, phone, and who knows what else. well as this is all getting sorted out...the cheating, the lying, the changing--seriously it's as if this guy we've known has become a COMPLETELY different person all together. we found all sorts of things that would turn even the most iron of stomachs including his desire to sleep with underage girls. it became all too clear that things could not/would not be worked out when jj sent my sister an email with links to open marriage websites. that's right...you're "married" but get to screw around as much as you'd like and it's ok....how many others are sitting there with a perplexed look on their face thinking, "uh, that's not really a marriage." you, my friend, would be correct. it's crazy, it's degrading, it's disrespectful, it's dangerous, it's DIGUSTING! jj has also decided that he no longer believes in God...that in itself is truly sad--it's as if life isn't falling apart enough, but then to let go of God, what will get you through life? anyway, jj has become a different person than i knew, than my sister married, than even his own mother recognizes...it's sad, it's sickening...it's dangerous. he has become a cheater, a liar, an agnostic, a predator, a stranger. pray for my sister as she is left dealing with all the destruction jj left in his wake. she's got a long road ahead of her, and i'm vowing to be there whenever she needs...as i know she would appreciate the love and support of all her friends...
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